5 Reasons Not to Convince Mom to Vaccinate
(and how to change her mind)
“It’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and they’ve taken my Mom!” Alice is reeling from the aftermath of her mother demanding Alice cancel her planned COVID-19 vaccination. “I’ve tried everything. Lecturing her, reasoning with her, pleading with her, but she just keeps insisting. Why won’t she listen?”
COVID anti-vaxxers come in different strains. Some are waiting for more information, while others mistrust their information. Some say nothing and disappear into online clouds of like-minded friends and communities. And then others, like Alice’s mother, actively evangelize their convictions. With an average of 1 in every 3 to 4 people currently planning to avoid the COVID-19 vaccination, chances are high that someone close to you figures among their ranks.
Dealing with a vaccine-resistant family member or friend loosens a flood of questions for most of us. How can we change their minds? What can we do to keep them safe? How do we protect ourselves and others from their choice? Questions like these can all too easily trigger a tsunami of complicated feelings: disbelief and embarrassment; frustration and anger; helplessness and despair - waves of emotions that overwhelm us with questions about the best path forward and our ability to walk it competently.
We might like to think that each of us would do everything possible to convince our COVID anti-vaxxers of their flawed reasoning. In practice, it’s not always so. Many of us facing this challenge say nothing. Among the 5 most common reasons for not trying to persuade our nearest and dearest are:
- It’s too overwhelming. I don’t know what to say or where to begin;
- I don’t want to poke the bear or go down whatever rabbit hole of misinformation they’ve fallen into;
- “Me” convince “them” to change their mind? Who am I kidding? That’s impossible.
- We have to respect the choices of others, however much we may disagree;
- Coming on strong will only put our relationship at greater risk than it already is;
Listing reasons for our decisions can be an insightful first step. So can choosing not to jump directly into confronting or convincing. Think of what happened last time someone insisted you backtrack on a choice you’d made. Quite possibly, you suddenly found yourself on the defensive in an escalating confrontation that ended in a less-than-satisfactory standoff. While persuasion can work well with those who share our perspective, it easily provokes resistance, resentment, and - in some cases - retaliation from those seeing things differently.
After hours of challenging her mother, Alice had a moment of insight. “I suddenly realized that my biggest problem wasn’t Mom’s vaccine choice; it was our inability to talk like we used to. I wanted Mom to do things that, on reflection, I caught myself resisting. To listen with compassion. To get curious and ask respectful questions. To trust.”
For Alice, things began to change when she started treating her mother like she wanted for herself. Listening to her Mom and asking questions with empathy. Showing trust and love. These changes helped Alice’s mother see for herself the deep fears and uncertainty with which she’d been struggling. How they’d driven her to beliefs that served neither her nor her family. And more, these changes transformed Alice and her mother from headstrong adversaries to appreciative, trusting, and loving allies – exactly the relationship Alice had been looking to revive.
Curious for more?
5 Reasons Not to Convince Mom to Vaccinate shows the power of staying true to our best intentions in challenging times. Find out how Alice was able to consistently stick to her intention with her Mom in 3 Steps to Unstoppable Persistence:
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I highly recommend Robert as a Life Coach. He provided value in his ability to assess situation quickly and offer tools to achieve greater balance in my life. He made it clear for me to choose a course of action to gain positive change in my daily life. Robert is reliable, friendly, professional and a great listener. Working with Robert was a wonderful experience.
Nöemie Dupuy
Billy Mavreas
Robert’s positive, forward-looking approach gave me new tools and new perspectives that are helping me move forward in the direction I want to be heading.
Steve Rohde
During a big transition time in my life, I started working with Robert to gain clarity and perspective to help me make some important decisions. He was instrumental in helping me structure my thoughts and ideas, refine my identity and move forward on my journey with certainty. Robert has an incredible ability to get to the source of a situation or dilemma, and has a knack for helping people exploit their own creativity and approach to solutions!
Justin Svatina
Robert's approach is insightful and light-hearted, and he has an excellent way of normalizing life's everyday challenges in a way that makes them seem much more manageable. He seems to have an endless supply of helpful tips on how to better manage your life and holds you accountable to the goals you set out for yourself. I leave every session with a fresh outlook and a clear understanding of what to do that week. For anyone seeking support and practical life-wisdom, you can't ask for anyone better! :)
Polina Gubnitskaia
Robert is a great life coach. I contacted him at a moment when I wanted to transition professionally and he was present to walk me through my options, to provide guidance and to support my decisions. He is a very good listener but also actively engages with you to give you just that other perspective or option, to share real-life examples, and to make you feel that your dreams can come true. I came out of every session optimistic and energized - I felt grounded but reached for the stars.
Cecilia Thompson
After a difficult period with my business and personal life, Robert was extremely helpful in guiding me to find joy in my work and peace with myself. He opened my eyes about a lot of ways to lead and to trust. When I think back on how I felt when I first walked in compared to one year later, I am impressed at how much change a person can go through when they are being guided by the right person.
Patricia Godley
Robert is one of those people that will change your life forever. When I started my sessions I was pretty much in a state where I had no hope for improvements and was even considering moving away from Canada! My professional burn-out was driving me crazy insecure about my career and the current company I am working at. After 3 months of weekly sessions, I am now in charge of my life once again and more confident than ever at work and with my art! My life is now moving forward and thanks to Robert.
Felipe Dunley
Creative Director, Sid Lee
Robert is an absolute delight and wonderful coach to work with, he is extremely professional and insightful. He helped me overcome many hurdles and see things in a new light. He is very positive, patient and resourceful. He brought plenty of humor into our sessions, I am forever indebted by his kindness. Please do not hesitate to engage him as your coach, I highly recommend him.
Sophiya Varghese
Senior Manager, Data & Analytics, TD
Robert has a wonderful way of connecting with people. His candidness, humor, and gentle advice make him easy to talk to. I also really appreciated the telephone consultations and extra effort he put in even when we were not in session. Thanks to him, our family learned to communicate with a better understanding and appreciation of each other.
Marianne Rodrigues
Co-Owner , VirtualE-There
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